Runway

After landing the pilot said to the co-pilot. "Look what a short runway they have here. It's the shortest I've ever seen."
The co-pilot replied, "And it's the widest I've ever seen."
L A U R E N T I U

Level

Controller: ROT 134 say level!
Pilot: Level, level, level!

Diving

I like diving. Diving is an extreme sport and it is necessary to be strong and in good physical condition.
Pressure is the most dangerous thing, pressure affects your body because it is difficult for the blood to change oxygen into carbon and decompression is necessary to liberate the nitrogen.
That's why I dive to no more than 20m.
L A U R E N T I U

The Miser

An old miser is dying. His wife and children are gathered around him. He asks them to call a lawyer. They do as he asks and the lawyer arrives. The miser asks, "Are you a good lawyer?" "Yes, of course!", the lawyer replied. "Good. Let's get started.Let's write my Will."
The children stood around hoping to hear what was going to be in the Will.
At one point the old miser stopped suddenly and asked the lawyer, "What's the correct way to write 'Nobody Nothing' - with or without a comma?"
A L E X

The Dog & Bottle of Cream

A dog went into a shop with an empty bottle of cream and put it on the table. The shopkeeper took a a large churn and filled the dog's bottle with cream. After that the shopkeeper asked for money. But the dog said that his owner had put it into the bottle.
V I C T O R & I O A N

Scottish Air Traffic Control

Please note: this is a comedy sketch video. Click Twice (slowly) to view.

Nasreddin Hoja and the Bowls

One day Nasreddin Hoja went to his neighbour's house to borrow a bowl for a day or two.
"Hoja! What are you going to do do with this bowl?"
"I need it. Don't ask me!"
Four days passed and Hoja had still not returned the bowl. The neighbour went to Hoja Nasreddin's house and asked,
"Hoja! What's happened to my bowl?"
"I'm sorry I forgot."
The very next day, Nasreddin Hoja returned two bowls; the original bowl with a smaller one inside. He explained to the delighted neighbour that the first bowl had given birth to the second bowl.

A month later, Nasreddin Hoja asked the neighbour if he could borrow two bowls. The neighbour immediately agrees – hoping for more bowls.

But again Nasreddin Hoja fails to return the bowls, so the neighbour asks if he can have his bowls back. But this time Nasrettin Hoja explains that tragically both bowls have died.

The neighbour is angry. "How can a bowl die?" he asks.

"You believed it when a bowl gave birth," said Nasreddin Hoja . "Why don't you believe it when a bowl dies?"
E S R E F

The Air Stewardess

Whilst travelling from Lithuania to Denmark the air stewardess asked me whether I would like to drink wine. I didn't know which wines they had so I asked, "What kind of wine?"
She didn't respond and left.
After some time she came back and gave me Vodka and Wine!
A L E K S A S

Playing the Lottery

When I was at university my friends and I decided to play the lottery. When my friend Tamar was filling in his lottery ticket I glanced over his shoulder and memorised his numbers.
The next morning he asked me if I knew the winning numbers. I said, "Yes, of course!" I pretended I had already written down the numbers for him on the top of the newspaper. When he saw the numbers he cheered and bought everyone a slap-up breakfast.
Then he went to the Lottery shop. The assistant told him there must have been a mistake and that unfortunately he hadn't won any money at all. He rushed home and as soon as he opened the door he screamed, "B I L A L L L L! I'm going to kill you!!!"
B I L A L

Meeting of Friends

One of the friends was a composer and another liked drinking. MC, the composer, was very glad to meet his old fiend and invited him to listen to his latest composition. Nobody had heard this piece of music before. But his friend the drunkard didn't like music, it bored him. But he didn't like to turn down his friend's invitation so he took along a couple of bottles of wine to help him relax a little!
M.C. began to play his violin with real passion and feeling. When he had finished he asked his friend (who was now very drunk) whether he liked the music. He friend replied, "Well, the bow stokes were excellent but the finger movements were in vain."
M A X

Vlad Goes Fishing

I like fishing. I have caught fish weighing 7,5kg and I have also been a fishing champion in Lithuania. In Bournemouth I was watching a fisherman who was drinking beer while he was waiting for a catch. He wasn't sitting very far away. He called me over. "Look at this!" And he pointed inside his bag and there was a field mouse drinking his bottle of Stella Artois!
V L A D

Esref in the U.S.

In 2001 I went to New York. When I landed there I wasn't familiar with the city. One of my friends gave me the idea of buying a Greyhound Bus ticket so that I could see a lot of different places. I bought the ticket. It cost $100 for one week.
There are lots of different people on the bus -all strangers and some very strange indeed! If I was lucky I would have a spare seat next to me. If not, I would have to sleep sitting up because the seats didn't recline very much. The drivers were very funny, singing into the microphone and telling jokes. At each stop I had to leave my bags in a left luggage locker.
I had a short stop in Washington D.C. Then I went to Baton Rouge. This took me 2½ days. I visited my friend's sister whos was studying for a PhD. On the way back I went via Orlando where I visited Disneyworld. I was lucky because the weather was good and I could watch the open air laser show with all the Disney characters. It was fantastic.
E S R E F