The Death of Laertes

In the last part of the story of Hamlet there is a swordfight. Laertes has put poison onto the tip of his sword. Laertes manages to wound Hamlet and after that Hamlet fights more and more slowly, but finally he kills Laertes with an extraordinary effort.
In a performance I was in Laertes fell down and Hamlet turned to the audience to deliver his final speech. The Laertes actor then let out an enormous fart that the whole audience could hear.
At that moment the quick-witted Hamlet actor turned to Laertes saying,
"Do I still hear your dying groans?"
He saved the performance!
GAVRILA

Drinking on the Left

I have a friend who was working in England. He decided to take a short holiday and drove his English car back to Romania.
One day he went out on a trip with a friend who was a policeman.
On the road they were stopped by an on-duty policeman who walked over to the left-hand side of the car. "I must see your papers, Sir."
The off-duty policeman asked why.
"I want to know if you have been drinking."
"My papers are O.K. but I have drunk a bottle of wine."
The on-duty policeman took the papers in order to prosecute him. He would have to pay a big fine.
"But why must I pay a fine, you idiot! I wasn't driving!"
GAVRILA

Time Flies!

Alex was an Air Traffic Controller in Kamchatka from 1995 t0 1998. After that he returned to Ukraine.
His friend from Kamchatka wanted to visit Ukraine and flew back with him.
The plane left Kamchatka at 9.00pm.
Kamchatka is in the far east of Russia, Moscow is in the far west and there is a huge time difference.
His friend drank so much before the flight that he slept for the entire 10 hour journey. When they arrived at Moscow at 9.00pm he woke half-conscious and asked where he was. Looking at the clock he said:
"Look! We should have left by now."
"Sergey! Never drink before you fly." Alex replied.
ZEHRA & ALEX

Landing Problem

In 1986 I was a controller in Constanza Airport Tower. In the morning at about 11 o'clock an AN24 type aircraft made a crash landing because the pilot didn't verify that the landing gear was down and locked.
I lost my job for 6 months and after that I had to start my career again with a reduced salary.
It wasn't my mistake because it's the pilot's responsibility to check that landing gear is down. There are 3 green lights which the cabin crew must check before commencing landing.
But in the Soviet system the responsibility was always with the Air Traffic Controller.
AUREL

Catching the Train or not?

This story happened at a railway station in Ukraine. Three men arrived at the station at 8:05pm and asked the stationmaster the time of the next train to Kiev. He told them it would be at 9:00pm. They decided that they had enough time for a drink and they went to a pub.
They came back an hour later and were told that they had just missed the train and that the next one was at 10:00pm, another at 11:00pm and the last one at 12:00pm.
They went back to the pub for drinks but kept missing the trains. As the 12:00pm was leaving 2 of them managed to jump on board. But the third was left behind on the platform.
This man began to laugh. The stationmaster asked him,
"Why are you laughing? You've just missed your train!"
The man replied that he was supposed to catch the train and his two friends had only come to say goodbye!
SUZAN & JAROSLAV

Dog on Runway

When Dmitri was working in the Tower an Austrian aircraft was coming for landing. The aircraft was about 10 km from the runway. At that moment he saw a dog crossing the runway..
He told the pilot to go around and fired a signal pistol to frighten the dog away.
The aircraft had circled and was turning for final approach. The dog had vacated the runway but the grass alongside the runway had caught fire as a result of firing the signal pistol.
Dmitri told the pilot to go around again but the pilot said he had "smoke in sight" and wanted to land immediately.
The pilot landed safely and Dmitri called the fire station to put out the fire.
METIN & DMITRI

RUMI

Mawlānā Jalāl-ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī(Persian: مولانا جلال الدین محمد رومی), but known to the English-speaking world simply as Rumi was born in Balkh in present day Afghanistan in 1207. He took his first education from his father, Baha' ud-Din Walad, who was known as “Sultan of the Scholar”. In 1212 he and his family left Balkh and they came to Konya. He was taught by Seyyid Burhaneddin for nine years. Baha' ud-Din became the head of a madrassa (religious school) and when he died Rumi inherited his position and succeeded him at the age of twenty-five. He was affected so much as by his best friend Shams-e Tabrizi.
Rumi`s teachings are called “Mevlevi” and his students are called “Mevlevi Dervishes”. The Mevlevi Dervish created the “sema” their "turning", sacred dance.His birthplace and native language shows a Persian heritage. His poetry is in Persian and his works are widely read in Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan and in translation especially in Turkey, Azerbaijan, the US, and South Asia.
His works are:
1-Mesnevi
2-Divan-I Kebir
His poems have been widely translated into many of the world's languages in various formats, and BBC News has described him as the "most popular poet in America"
2007 is the “Year of the Rumi” in Turkey.
METIN & MUSTAFA

The Ottoman Empire

The Ottoman Empire(1299-1922) was a multi-ethnic and multi-religious Turkish-ruled state. By 1300, there were Ghazi principalities all over Anatolia. One of them was led by Osman Ghazi who was the son of Ertugrul Ghazi. They were in the region of Eskisehir in western Anatolia. Osman I extended their borders to the Byzantine Empire. They took Bursa at first and Bursa became capital of Ottaman.
The story of Ottoman had begun there. Osman Ghazi had a better idea than others. He saw the future. They had dreamt of more than a local state and worked a long time to build a big multinational state. They had written documents of their own, about the structure of state, the military, the management, the judgement, the economic means. This systematic approach was the secret of their success.
Because of the success of their system, The Ottomans spanned three continents at 16th-17th century, when they were at their strongest(the map of Ottomans can be seen below). They were controlling Southeastern Europe, The Middle East and North Africa.The empire was at the center of interactions between the Eastern and Western worlds for six centuries. Through these centuries, lots of different cultures, nations lived together without trouble. The main point was that all the people were called Ottoman. It meant that people had the same identity beyond their different cultures.
In 1453 Istanbul was conquered by Fatih Sultan Mehmet and became capital city of Ottoman Empire. This was also beginning of a New Age for the world. They had a successful and determined army and navy. So, Ottoman Sovereigns conquered lots of places in their time. It was the way of being great in that age.
Some well-known of Sovereigns are; Fatih Sultan Mehmed, Kanuni Sultan Suleyman(Suleiman The Magnificent), Yavuz Sultan Selim…
They began to have troubles with management of the empire by the 18th century. It was also affected nationalism which became was taking root all over the world. Because of this and because of the impermanence of all living things, the Ottoman Empire was reaching its end.
After The World War I (1922) the Sovereign was removed by Ataturk. So The Ottoman Empire was finished and the Turkish Republic was established in Anatolia, and other republics in many other countries all over Ottomans lands…
ABDUREHIM & HASIP

A Marriage of Two Towers?

Istanbul is Turkey`s most popular city. It is a cultural and historical centre. It is located on the Bosphorus Strait and is part of the natural harbor known as Golden Horn, in the northwest of the country. The city is a bridge between Asia and Europe. It served as the capital city of different empires including Roman and Ottaman. Istanbul has many mosques, churches and different historical buildings. The city was chosen as joint European Capital of Culture for 2010. Some of the historical areas are in Unesco`s list.
Cultural activity and tourism are an important part of life in the city.
Most of the city`s historical pubs are located in the areas around Istiklal Avenue in Beyoglu. Cicek Pasaji has most of the popular pubs.
Kiz Kulesi is in the centre of the city.If you want to see the two sides of Istanbul, you must visit it.
Galata kulesi ("Bachelor Tower") is on the European side opposite Kiz Kulesi ("Maiden Tower") on the Asian side.
Imagine if the Maiden and Bachelor Towers were married, what a fantastic thing this would be—a wedding of Europe and Asia!!
SEVAL & ZEHRA

Pylyp Orlyk

Pylyp Orlyk, a Zaporozhian Cossack, went into exile after Tsar Peter I won the Battle of Poltava and conquered Ukraine.
He was declared the Ukrainian Hetman in exile after the death of Hetman Ivan Mazepa in 1710.
He was the first to write a truly democratic constitution with separation of powers.
There is a legend in Ukraine that Pylyp Orlyk exported the Ukrainian cossack exchequer to England and invested money for future generations in an independent Ukraine.
But later nobody could remember the password!!

Boxing Brothers

Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko are two of the top boxers in the world.
They are from Ukraine and are brothers.
Both have PhDs are have the nicknames Dr. Iron Fist and Dr. Steelhammer.
Wladimir won the WBO World Heavyweight Championship in 2000 and 2004 and is the IBF/IBO World Heavyweight champion.
Vitali was the WBC heavyweight boxing champion of the world in 2004 and 2005.

Yuri Gagarin

I want to tell the story of a illustrious Russian man, Yuri Gugarin. A lot people know him because he was the first man in space.It was on the 12th April 1961.
Before Gagarin there were 2 space rockets.
The first was a rocket without people or animals. It was just a rocket with a satellite (Sputnik). This sputnik sent signals to the earth and scientists knew the flight had been completed.
The second space flight was with 2 dogs, Belka and Strelka. They returned safely.
Gagarin was the first man to orbit the earth and was in space for 108 minutes.
108 minutes that changed the world!
ANDREY N.
Watch Yuri Gagarin's flight here:

Igor Sikorsky

Igor Sikorsksy was a Ukrainian inventor. He was born in Kiev and lived there before the Russian revolution. After the revolution he emigrated to the USA, because he didn't share the Socialist ideology.
In the USA he continued to work as an inventor. In the 1920s he invented the first vertical takeoff and landing craft which he called the helicopter and founded the company which designed and manufactured all types of helicopters and still continues to do so.
Now it's a very big corporation which manufactures civil, military and cargo helicopters.

Vodka on Ice

A law introduced by Mikhail Gorbachev prohibited alcoholic drinks:
1. People began to make their own domestic alcohol;
2. The black market sold expensive and dangerous drinks;
3. Thousands of vineyards and fruit gardens were cut down;
4. Wineries were destroyed;
5. The government lost billions of rubles.
!!!
ALEX & SERGEY

Prize Tax

In Ukraine if you win something you must pay tax.
I had a friend who won a car in a prize draw.
But he couldn't take the car because the tax was too high.
JAROSLAV THE WISE & DMITRY

Earthquake Tax

In 1999 the west side of Turkey was hit by a big earthquake.
After that the government introduced a tax to help people affected and cities damaged by the earthquake.
But we are now in 2007 and we still have to pay the tax!
MUSTAFA & ABDUREHHIM

During Ceauşescu's time if you had not married after 30 years old you had to pay a tax!
AUREL & GAVRILA

Voting in Turkey

In Turkey everyone over 18 must vote, if they don't they have to pay a fine.
This law they say is democratic, but it isn't democratic.
If I have the right to vote I should also have the right not to vote.
SEVAL & ZEHRA

Bridegroom Baksheesh

Either before or after the wedding the bridegroom has to pay money to anyone (maybe a small child) who stops the car. In Turkey it must be at least TL 5 or maybe TL 20. In Russia it can also be drinks or sweets.
If the groom wants to go away he should have to pay the money and while doing this he should be polite. But sometimes the groom prefers accelerating.
Generally the groom pays the money to get married as soon as possible.
AYSEGUL & ANDREY (Golf)

BLOG 1 0 0 !!!

On the occasion of the 100th Near Miss Blog JOHN & GEOFF would like to thank all of their wonderful students for their contributions--you've been a fantastic bunch---and what a set of blogs!!!

As a way of celebrating the 100th blog post we have selected six of the best (a very difficult task)--for humour, language, fluency and, above all, for making us sit up or smile....

What a talented lot you Air Traffic Controllers are!!!!!

Here they are (in no particular order):
1. Sea, Sun, Sand & History EVREN
A blog to send the unfortunate Englishman heading off for better weather in a country where it can snow and be "summer" at the same time!
2. Welcome to Moscow VLAD
It makes you feel you've actually visited the place!! And came in useful when one of us did!
3. The Poor Man and the Sausages IOAN
A multi-sensory smile here for everyone!
4. Vlad Goes Fishing VLAD
A true story!
5. The Eagle and the Bear ERSAN
Where did he learn "get your goat"? What a joke!
6. Air Traffic Control in Istanbul ESREF, TUNC & BILAL
A fascinating blog--very clear, bold and informative.

With thanks,
GEOFF & JOHN

Weddings In Turkey: Raki & Friends

If it's not your wedding, a wedding in Turkey is great fun!
You can drink, you can eat, you can do traditional Turkish folk dancing and you can see friends you have lost touch with.
Sometimes the wedding is held in a garden, sometimes in a hall. You can't have a wedding in a mosque, but the imam can come to the wedding to give a blessing to a small family group, but it doesn't last long.
People can drink if it is held in a place where drinking is allowed.
Some people like to drink raki...the best thing at weddings is that you can drink unlimited quantities!
MUSTAFA

Smashing a Bottle

After the wedding ceremony, and before the bride goes to her new house, the bride throws up a glass or a bottle to break it.
It's believed that if the bride breaks the glass the new couple will not break each other's hearts at any time.
SALIH

Supermarket Confusion

Yesterday my friend and I went to the supermarket to buy some beer. We took a box and went to the till.
There was a young girl--pretty and nice, but when she saw us she blushed and suddenly began to speak quickly and said we had to go to another till.
But we didn't understand why!
The manager came and explained again that we had to pay at another till.
But this till was open!!
We said, "We have the money, we have the beer, we want to pay!"
She told us, "You may pay over there,"
We said, "We want to pay here!"
Finally, they explained that she was under 18 and she couldn't sell us alcohol.
What a crazy rule!
JAROSLAV THE WISE

Bargaining in Turkey

When I was a student at university I was well off because my father supported me.
But when I graduated my father didn't give me money and I couldn't find a job.
I was unemployed for a year.
If I needed to buy something like jeans, I couldn't afford it.
But I quickly learnt a new technique:
If I went shopping for something, like a new pair of jeans, I would offer to buy.
They would say the price was 20 Turkish Lira and I would say I couldn't afford to buy it. After that I would walk away.
But then the shop assistant would run after me and offer it at a much lower price.
I made a lot of good bargains that way!
SEVAL

Cluj-Napoca

I live in Cluj-Napoca. Cluj-Napoca is in the centre of Transylvania in the northwest of Romania.
Transylvania is a beautiful country: with hills, mountains, forests, wild boars, bears, wolves, deer, foxes, peacocks and pheasants. Hunting is popular and the hunters like to display trophies on their walls.

Ceauşescu used to hunt bears and deer and had thousands of trophies on his wall.
He shot the one of the largest bears in Europe--the champion bear trophy!!
But, if you go to Cluj-Napoca beware of the taxi drivers!
One day I had to go home from Bucharest to Cluj-Napoca. I had a free ticket for this flight and only had to pay the insurance.
After landing the taxi driver (who didn't know I was from Cluj-Napoca) said I must pay 50 Romanian Lei. More than the cost of whole journey and five times what I would normally pay.
I told him where to go!
GAVRILA

The Fool and the Bridge

This tragi-comic story happened in Istanbul many years ago.
A man came to Istanbul. It was the first time he had been in such a big city. He had come to earn lots of money. But he was a foolish man.
On his first day in Istanbul he met Dolop Osman who was a well-known swindler. But he didn't know anything about Osman. When they were looking at the Bosphorus bridge Osman said to him:
"Do you want to buy it? If you buy it you can earn a lot of money!"
The foolish man smiled and said:
"I think I haven't got enough money to buy it. Isn't it expensive?"
"Don't worry you are my fellow townsman."
So the foolish man bought the bridge by handing over all his money.
But when he tried to collect money from the cars crossing the bridge, the drivers called the police!
SUZAN, METIN & HASIP

Football Injury

In my childhood I used to play football with my friends. One day, because of too much enthusiasm, I fell down on a sharp stone that caused me a serious injury.
There was a lot of blood and my friends were terrified.
I was scared, not due to the injury to my right leg, but because of my parents' fear.
MIHAI

Orange Tree Escape

When I was 5 or 6 years old my friends and I decided to eat oranges and went to an orange garden. It wasn't our garden but we ate the oranges anyway.
While we were eating we heard a bark and looked round and saw a big dog chasing us. We climbed into an orange tree but we couldn't do anything to chase the dog away. The dog wasn't going anywhere and we continued eating the oranges and throwing them at the dog, which made it very angry!
After 2 or 3 hours somebody came and the dog went off. We escaped and learnt our lesson. We were very good children after that!
MUSTAFA

Sleep Talk

When I was 4 or 5 I had an incident with my sister. We used to sleep in the same room and I went to sleep earlier than she did. When she came into the room I suddenly asked her very, very loudly:
"What are you doing?"
She didn't complain but afterwards I used to speak to her while I was asleep. But she was very afraid and decided never to sleep with me in the same room.
When I grew up I got rid of this habit.
OKSANA

Hungry Husky

When I was a child I liked playing with my dog. It was a German Shepherd. I decided to connect him to my sleigh and use him like a horse. Then I took a long stick with a piece of meat at the end to train him how go left and right.
In two months of training my dog became stronger and faster.
But there was a small problem: the dog went home whenever he was hungry!
ALEX

Mouse Murder!

My family goes to our village every summer. When I was six years old we went again to Trabzon.
I was playing with my friends near the path. Suddenly I saw a mouse, maybe a baby mouse, crossing the path. I took a small stone and threw it towards the mouse. I only wanted to frighten her. But my stone hit the mark and the little, sweet mouse fell down. She was dead!
We made a small funeral ceremony for her using natural things such as leaves for decoration. She is now deep in the soil!
AYSEGUL

Boxes

You have to make a grid of dots 10 horozontal x 10 vertical in this game. The first player has to make a line between two dots. The next player has to do the same thing when it is his turn.
The aim is to make squares and the person who closes the square has to put his initial in the square.
When you close a square you have another turn and make a new line.
Finally, the winner is the player who has more boxes with his initials in on the grid.
CRISTINA & HASIP

Battleships 2

1. Draw a grid 10 x 10
2. Name columns left to right A-J
3. Number vertical columns 1-10
4. Dispose ships: 1 battleship 4 squares; 2 cruisers 3 squares; 3 destroyers 2 squares; 4 submarines 1 square.
5. Players name squares (like B7) and try to hit the target.
6. Survivors will be winners!!
DMITRY, SUZAN & ALEX

Battleships

You must draw a grid with 10 x 10 squares marked left to right A-J and 1-10 top to bottom.
You have a fleet that includes 1 battleship marked with the letter B in 4 squares in the body of a ship. Also you have 2 cruisers which are three squares marked with the letter C, 3 destoyers 'D' (2 squares) and 4 submarines 'S' with 1 square each.
The rule is:
You must call out postions (c5 or e7) and hit ships. If you hit a ship you can try again. If not you must allow the other player to try.
The winner is the player who hits all the opposite player's ships.
ANTONIO & ZEHRA

Houses Game

In this picture there are three houses 1, 2, 3. These three houses need sources of energy: G = gas; E = electricity; W = water. You have to draw lines between the houses and the sources but remember you are not allowed to cross the lines!
CHRISTIAN & SEVAL

Hangman

This game is for two players. The game has rules as follows:
The first player thinks of a word and writes the word with dashes instead of letters -------.
The second player says a letter to find the unknown word. If the word includes that letter the first player must write it in the dashes.
If not, the hangman drawing starts and the second player tries again.
If the second player finds the word before 12 mistakes he wins.
METIN & ADRIAN

Sleepwalking

When I was 9 years old we were living on the 2nd floor. One morning my parents asked me about the previous night. What was I doing? But I couldn't remember anything and I asked them what I did.
They told me that I was going around the rooms and then went next to a window and put one leg out of it. At that moment my mother saw me and pulled me in and then took me to bed.
When I heard all that I was very surprised because I couldn't remember anything I did that night. My parents agreed I was sleepwalking.
SALIH

Spike's Revenge

When I was six one of my neighbours got a small German Shepherd puppy. I often went close to him with a stick, made him angry, pushing him to produce a big noise. Sometimes white foam appeared at his mouth. He would get furious, SPIKE, the dog.

After four months he became a strong dog. I was playing in the street when suddenly I heard something strange behind me. It was THE DOG, SPIKE.
I felt scared and started to run, but obviously the dog caught me and bit my bottom. It was his revenge.

Well, you have to pay for everything in this life, don't you?
IOAN

Dnipropetrovsk -- Дніпропетровськ

I want to talk about my native city Dnipropetrovsk and Dnipropetrovsk region. Did you know that the longest quay in Europe, 23km long, is in Dnipropetrovsk? It consists of 3 quays: Peremsky, Lenina and Zavodska. A beautiful beach and park zones with various entertainment establishments were created along the quays. There is also a special Festival berth where various youth activities take place.
The most legendary place of Dnipropetrovsk is Monastyrskyi Island, covered with greenery and located near the quay in the centre of the city. They say that once such famous persons as Apostol Andrew, Princess Olga and and Prince Volodymyr the Great visited it. It is now the home of a restored Orthodox monastery. Newly-weds and tourists like to take photos on the island.
The population of the city exceeds a million inhabitants and they say that Dnipropetrovsk is ahead of Kyiv (Kiev) for the number of restaurants and night clubs.
In the Kyiv Museum of Historic Treasure of Ukraine the famous golden Pectoral of the 4th century BC (a chest adornment owned by a Scythian King) has been on display for more than 3 decades already. This unique golden decoration weighing more than 1 kg and about 30 cm in diameter is considered a world masterpiece of jewelry. Guess where it was found??
Right. In the Dnipropetrovsk region. In 1971 Ukrainian archaeologist Borys Mozolevsky found it while excavating an ancient mound.
The territory of the modern Dnipropetrovsk region was settled during the Neolithic. In the 7th to 4th centuries BC the Prydniprovia Steppe became the centre of the Greater Scythian State. One thousand years later, Slavs appeared here. In the time of the Kyiv Rus state the Mongol and Tartar invasions of the 13th century wasted Prydniprova and the 15th century saw the heroic culmination of the Ukrainian Cossacks, closely connected with the history of Dnipropetrovsk. Residents of the region are proud of the fact that one of the first democratic republics in Europe, the Zaporizka Sich, appeared here.
Five bridges, which connect not only two banks of the river, but also two parts of the Ukraine: Left Bank and Right Bank are the highlight of Dnipropetrovsk.
ALEX

The Man and the Snake

There is a poor man and a snake, they were good friends. The poor man visits the snake every day and the snake gives him 1 Lira.
The poor man's son learns about this and decides to kill the snake to get all the money. He goes to the snake's house and tries to kill it; but he can't. He only manages to cut off the tail of the snake. The snake turns round and bites him. The son dies.
A few months later, the poor man goes to the snake and suggests that they become friends again. The snake says:
"If you have grief for your son and I have grief for my tail we'll never be friends again."
ALAATTIN

ASURE

Asure is a traditional dessert of Turkey. Turkish people make this dessert for a special month. It has got an old story.
Prophet Nuh made a ship for rescuing his people from the big flood. People could only bring one type of food. They didn't make meals from one type of food because ther wasn't enough of one type for all of them. So they put all types of food together: chick peas, walnuts, figs, apricots etc. and made a meal for themselves.
Turkish people make this dessert to remember the Prophet and his people. When they make Asure they share it with their neighbours.
Here is a recipe for Asure.
OZLEM

Class Photo E4.6 6/10/07

Back: Dmitry, Saulius, Christian
Middle: Antonio, Alex, Adrian, Cristina, Alaattin, Adem
Front: Ozlem, Feridun, Serkhan

Class Photo E4.5 6/10/07

Top: Oksana, Semih, Cagri, Andrey, Aleksi, Pranas.
Bottom: Vasile, Mihai, Gokmen, Ersan, Ioan